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24 - Jack Bauer Jokes
http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirt...
by amiable_indian 1259 days ago, published 1258 days ago (notrly.com)
  • The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.
  • When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.
  • Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
  • If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
  • When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.
  • Life doesn’t give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants.
  • Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a “knock knock” joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
  • Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.
  • Jack Bauer doesn’t need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.
  • There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television.
  • When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.
  • Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.
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1
PanAsianBiz   # PanAsianBiz
  Posted 1259 days ago. (hide)

These are a crack up! My wife and I have been watching 24 on DVD...we were not in the country when it first came out. We enjoy the series but will enjoy it more having read these. Thanks for the funny contribution.

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