1 – Bring a Blowhorn
Use it when you ask or answer a question

2 – Hire a Video Crew to come to the Class.
If asked about it, say that you have to tape the lecture for a friend.

Read more

scratch and show it to your nearest teacher

and win a free trip to Principal’s office and enjoy 3 years vacation at home.

Hurry offer valid until exams only….

• It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write our exam once (excluding supplementary). Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. Say NO to EXAMS

• Student’s declaration at the end of answer paper. It Reminds me of Disclaimer Notices!

“I hereby declare that answers written above r true 2 the best of mine & my friend’s knowledge & I claim no responsibility whatsoever for any mistakes. Whatever I have written is truly fictitious and any resemblance with the Subject Matter is purely Coincidental.”

the American …it is all business…he looks far away, his attention undisturbed

the Canadian…a little distracted and naive

the French and the Italian are looking at one thing only….

Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.

The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.

“A million dollars”, he answered, “because I wish to donate it to M.I.T.”

The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.

He asked for two million dollars.

“I wish to give a million to my family”, he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research.”

The last applicant was an Indian Engineer.

When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewers ear, “Three million dollars.”

“Why so much more than the others?” the interviewer asked.

He Replied, “$1 million is for you, I will keep $1million, and well give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”.

http://www.desihotmasala.com/2009/09/santa-banta-comics-santa-banta-funny.html

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February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..

Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won’t fit in typewriter!!!

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March – Got really excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months….box said “2-4 years!”

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April – Trapped on escalator for hours….. power went out!!!

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May – Tried to make Kool-Aid…..wrong instructions…. 8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!

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June – Tried to go water skiing…..couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

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July – Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

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August – Got locked out of my car in rainstorm…..car swamped because soft-top was open.

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September – The capital of California is “C”.....isn’t it???

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October – Hate M &M’s…..they are so hard to peel.

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November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.

Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

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December – Couldn’t call 911….“duh”........ there’s no “eleven” button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14

3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9

5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13

6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13

7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to. – Emily, 10

8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. – Taylia, 11

9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. – Traci, 14

10. Don’t sneeze in front of mom when you’re eating crackers. – Mitchell, 12

11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. – Andrew, 9

12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. – Kyoyo, 9

13. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. – Armir, 9

14. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. – Kellie, 11

15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. – Naomi, 15

16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. – Lauren, 9

17. Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. – Joel, 10

18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone. – Alyesha, 13

19. Never try to baptize a cat. – Eileen, 8